Willfully Disobedient

[The Flaming Dragonfly]

I don't know for sure why I'm posting this. Maybe part of me still wants some advice.

I just emailed my pastor and told him that I'm choosing to be disobedient by not going to Wednesday night prayer meeting. Actually I said that I guess I'm going to be disobedient because I'm not going to the services. My pastor has been pushing for Wed. night attendence, and for various reasons I'm not going to go. A big reason is that I can't/won't pray right now, and I don't want to be in a group of others who are expecting me to pray. Is this true disobedience? My pastor has made the point that true obedience means being with other Christians and praying even when one doesn't want to so that the spark may be ignited. I totally understand what he's saying, and at one point I would have agreed with him.

What's really scaring me is that I absolutely will not consider going to the service. Period. I will not go and try to pray. And it's this attitude that is totally overwhelming me.

Like I said, I'm not sure why I'm posting this, but I felt led to, I guess. I still believe in God--I still believe that I'm a Christian--but I am at my lowest point right now.

[Isa820]

Originally Posted by The Flaming Dragonfly

I don't know for sure why I'm posting this. Maybe part of me still wants some advice.

I just emailed my pastor and told him that I'm choosing to be disobedient by not going to Wednesday night prayer meeting. Actually I said that I guess I'm going to be disobedient because I'm not going to the services. My pastor has been pushing for Wed. night attendence, and for various reasons I'm not going to go. A big reason is that I can't/won't pray right now, and I don't want to be in a group of others who are expecting me to pray. Is this true disobedience? My pastor has made the point that true obedience means being with other Christians and praying even when one doesn't want to so that the spark may be ignited. I totally understand what he's saying, and at one point I would have agreed with him.

What's really scaring me is that I absolutely will not consider going to the service. Period. I will not go and try to pray. And it's this attitude that is totally overwhelming me.

Like I said, I'm not sure why I'm posting this, but I felt led to, I guess. I still believe in God--I still believe that I'm a Christian--but I am at my lowest point right now.

I know this post is old, but If you still come on and read, maybe you could answer my question....why do you not want to pray?? I have friends who have gone through this for various reasons, and believe that the answer to that question will provide lots of insite.

[The Flaming Dragonfly]

Wow, I haven't posted here for a long time, but I still come in and lurk.

To answer your question, Isa, I guess I would say that when I posted that message I was confusing my anger with my pastor with anger with God. I felt that I could "get back" at my pastor and God at the same time by refusing to go to Wed. service and being in a situation where I would be expected to pray. I don't know how coherent I'm going to be tonight (very tired), but I wanted to throw some kind of answer out since you were kind enough to ask. I will add that while I am not attending Wed. night services (or Sun. morning, for that matter), I am finding that prayer is becoming important again. I've just been struggling with perceptions of Christianity, and for awhile I got pretty far away from God.

Hope that makes some kind of sense.

[ctrups]

Yeah,I tried to find Wednesday night attendance as mandatory for salvation in the scriptures and or for personal growth.

I didn't see it any where in the scriptures.

Usually when people in charge start railing about attendance it's because they have lost connection with the congregation and don't know how to stop the bleeding(The loss of attendees)so they lay on the guilt factor and or the faith/obey rule.

DEAN

[Elisheva]

Originally Posted by The Flaming Dragonfly

I don't know for sure why I'm posting this. Maybe part of me still wants some advice.

I just emailed my pastor and told him that I'm choosing to be disobedient by not going to Wednesday night prayer meeting. Actually I said that I guess I'm going to be disobedient because I'm not going to the services. My pastor has been pushing for Wed. night attendence, and for various reasons I'm not going to go. A big reason is that I can't/won't pray right now, and I don't want to be in a group of others who are expecting me to pray. Is this true disobedience? My pastor has made the point that true obedience means being with other Christians and praying even when one doesn't want to so that the spark may be ignited. I totally understand what he's saying, and at one point I would have agreed with him.

What's really scaring me is that I absolutely will not consider going to the service. Period. I will not go and try to pray. And it's this attitude that is totally overwhelming me.

Like I said, I'm not sure why I'm posting this, but I felt led to, I guess. I still believe in God--I still believe that I'm a Christian--but I am at my lowest point right now.

First of all, I would tell you that the definition of sin is: Transgression of the Torah (Law). So, how could you of been willfully disobedience to the Father by not attending a prayer meeting. This is a clear cut case of divine requirements versus man's requirements. The Father says in Matt 15:9, But in vain they do worship Me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men". The only caveat that I would put to that statement would be that it's different if you are a "prayer warrior". Luke 12:48 says, "But he that knew not, and did committ things worthy of strips, shall be beaten with few stripes. For to whom much is given, of him shall much be required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the most."

Basically, we are not to waste our gifts of the Spirit. Those put in positions of authority or purpose much is required. "The gifts and calling of Yahweh are without repentence (Teshuvah). Romans 11:29.

Hebrews 10:26 says, "For if we sin (transgression of the Father's Torah/Law) willfully after that we have received the knowledge (da' at) of the truth (emet), there remains no more sacrifice (Like in the OT where animals were sacrificed to redeem you/your family from sins) for sins.

The Father's word also tells us that we should not approach with an offering for the Father with ought against our brother. This means that we have to approach the Father with a pure heart with no thoughts against anyone or anything. A pure heart.

John 8:32 says, "And you shall know the truth (emet), and the truth (emet) shall make you free." Who is the Truth?

ANSWER: John 14:6, "Yahshua said to him, I am the way (Derech), the TRUTH (Emet), and the Life (Chayim): no man comes to MY Abba, except through Me".


I hope that you see this because I think it will help you a great deal in what you are feeling right now. You probably have figured it out but if not, the words in () are Hebrew.